Green Day Quotes

Green Day has been known to share their thoughts in magazines, on tv or any other kind of interview. Whether ridiculous, thoughtful, random or funny - many of these are worth noting. Below you'll find our collection of some of our favorite quotes by all three members of Green Day.

Random Quote

"Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings" — Tre Cool

Billie Joe Armstrong

Billie Joe Armstrong
"They have bad taste. I am not a good-looking guy."
"This song's off our album. It's called Kerplunk. It's kind of in line with the shit thing, ya know, it's like you take a dookie and it kerplunks in the toilet."
"Nobody leaves this band unless it's in a coffin"
"I love my friends and family, but playing, that's my DNA." — Interview NME June 2009
"My goal is to be one of the biggest bands in the world, and I have never been bashful about saying that."
"You don't mow another man's lawn!" — MTV Interview
"History will tell if we were really a good band or just a one day fly."
"Just about 99% of the population masturbates while the other 1% lie about it."
"They sound like Tre choking on a hair ball."
"Slipknot sounds like Tre choking on a hairball."
"I didn't think I'd even be alive at 29... let alone still making music" — Kerrang Interview October 2001
"I'm a songwriter-I'm obligated to keep pushing myself."
"Do you have a problem? I have a gun. I'll shoot you. No problem."
"Do you wanna have sex and get married?" — Interview when asked what the Best Pick Up Lines were.
"Let's shake some shit up - that's all you can do."
"My job description is that I'm a rock star. And I'm good at it." — Kerrang Interview December 2005
"If someone falls down please pick them back up. Just because there's not a fuckin' camera in your face doesn't mean you don't have to lookout for each other."
"We pride ourselves on trying to put on the best show we can and we're not afraid to say that we happen to be the best live band in the world" — Q Magazine interview - Nov 2010
"Stand the fuck up! This isn't a fucking coldplay show!" — Concert during 21st Century Breakdown tour
"One thing I want to teach my son is sensitivity to other people. I want to teach him not to be this macho freak."
"Yeah I've met members of The Who, and "members" of The Who"
"Rock bands are such pussies, you know? I honestly think that people are looking for something that's more than just a piece of shit"
"The one thing that's always stuck with us is that we're crazy mother fuckers." — 2010 interview in South America
"You can't live on planet rock star 24/7; you have to be down and dirty and have some fun."
"We are not afraid to be entertainers."
"I've been singing harmony with Mike Dirnt since we were about 15 years old."Wall Street Journal editorial by Billie Joe
"Well, you know, I look at myself in the morning and yes, yeah I-I am a God."
"I don't care what you do, I don't wanna be a mud hippie like you" — Woodstock 94 Mud Fight
"Every night I play as if my life depends on it." — Interview NME June 2009
"Punk is always something that's going to be with us and to try and explain that would be stupid at this point."
"I'm always a work in progress." — Kerrang Interview May 2010
"I hate celebrities. I really hate them."
"Music is the air that I breathe, it's the blood that pumps through my veins."
"Punk rock is dead...and I fucking killed it."
"A lot of people, when they talk to me, I can't wait for them to shut up. Like, shut up. you're a moron. I have nothing to say, you know?"
"I kind of became everyone’s weird uncle. I was drunk all the time wearing a fucking leopard g string."
"I'm still wearing the pants I had in the eleventh grade"
"I fucking hate Lynyrd Skynyrd, I've always hated Lynyrd Skynyrd. Fuckin' backwards ass hillbilly shit."
"When someone is in a car accident and they're driving at 100 mph, drunk, who's tape do you think his listening to at that time? Think about it."
"I'm a dirt bag rock and roller. I want to represent that before anything else"
"Of course, you also want something that'll make one hell of a killer tattoo." — An interview talking about the characters Christian and Gloria
"The harder you work, the luckier you get. " — Kerrang interview May 2010
"...and sometimes I think she may have married the end of the world." — Talking about his wife, Adrienne.
"What has two thumbs, speaks French, and likes blowjobs? *points thumbs at himself* Moi."
"The day you become old is the day you're not looking for new experiences anymore."
"I heard Davey Havok has a brand of eyeliner out now... its AFI-liner"
"Our passion is our strength."
"Pretty and demented at the same time, like me."
"You have to be forgiven of you're sins now so you can start sinning all night long" — Foxboro Hot Tubs show
"Punk is always something that’s going to be with us and to try and explain that would be stupid at this point."
"I think we have the worst name in rock, I really do. It's the worst name in the world"
"Attack your instruments. Don’t let them attack you."
"Punk is dead to anyone who didn't get it in the first place"
"I never thought that being obnoxious would get me where I am now."
"What do you mean we walked around in girls clothes? We walked around in dresses and they happened to be ours!"
"The day you become old is the day you're not looking for new experiences anymore."
"It's my fucking life and you know what, nobody invited you...so there's the door...see ya!"
"You're the fucking leaders, you have the power. Don't let these bastards dictate the rest of the world, or dictate your fucking life!" — Live 8 concert on July 2, 2005 in Berlin, Germany
"Are you canadian? Oh, okay, 'cause you're sure as hell acting like one right now."
"[Our 'Waiting' video] was totally a failure. [MTV] doesn't show any videos anymore. If we had a booty video - if we had, like, McG, with girls shaking their ass in the video -- it would probably get played. Actually, I am just really bitter right now."
"If me and Mike Dirnt are in the same room, it's not quite right if he's not on stage with me." — American Idiot musical - January 22, 2011
"School is practice for the future, and practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?" — Interview
"Y'know?" — Pretty much every interview
"Just because you're in the missionary position don't make you no missionary. " — AP interview October 2004
"To me, it doesn't feel like it's just another rock record that somebody put out. It feels like we taped into the culture a little bit" — Interview talking about American Idiot
"There’s supposed to be a curfew at this shithole. We don’t do fucking curfews. We’ll go off when we want"
"Yeah fuck me! I wish all of you could fuck me!"
"To do something that you feel in your heart that's great, you need to make a lot of mistakes. Anything that's successful is a series of mistake" — Bullet In A Bible
"B-I-L-L-I-E J-O-E. My real name is Billie Joe. And it's southern, my moms from Oklahoma and that's how I got the name."
"You have to search the absolute demons of your soul to make a great record."
"I'm not gonna say anything inspirational; I'm just gonna fucking swear a lot"
"And for our fans, they're just crazy people anyway. I always look at people in a Green Day shirt, and I think, 'What's wrong with that person? What kind of hang-ups does that person have?' Obviously, it's not just the catchy songs, it goes deeper than that."
"Welcome to Montreal-- fuck you', would be a good sign at your highways."
"A guy walks up to me and asks 'What's Punk?'. So I kick over a garbage can and say 'That's punk!'. So he kicks over the garbage can and says 'That's Punk?', and I say 'No that's trendy!"
"I sound like an Englishman impersonating an American impersonating an Englishman."
"Rock 'n' roll can be fun and dangerous at the same time. "
"You want a drumstick? Like a ice cream cone or a chicken wing!?"
"The bigger the risks, the better off you are. Otherwise you're just boring. "
"There's nothing wrong with being a loser, it just depends on how good you are at it."
"Woodstock was about the closest thing to anarchy I've ever seen in my whole life, and I didn't like it."
"I got body lice in Germany! I'd tell you they were crabs, but I wasn't getting laid."
"It's MISTER American Idiot to you..."
"The musical is amazing. I mean, I don't throw that word around very often unless I'm talking about myself. Being humble is one of my many fine qualities. " — IGN Interview May 2009
"We put the fun back into dysfunctional"

Mike Dirnt

Mike Dirnt
"I'll remember 1994 as the year that ate shit..."
"It's no use analyzing your life the whole time. Those analyses won’t help you when you’re dead."
"Tre doesn't need to use a condom. He has a huge overlapping foreskin. He just ties it in a knot."
"Don't blame me for the explosion of punk rock. I didn't know our music was going to get that big."
"Are any of these vegetables magic? I mean, If I rub this bean on my foot will I run faster?"
"I have a daughter and she's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. She gives me a good excuse to watch cartoons."
"If you start planning too far ahead, the next thing you know you forget you're living today" — IGN Interview May 2009
"A turtle does come in it's own bowl" — Interview with during Frustrators tour February 2011
"The principle called me in and laughed and said "Mike, no one in this school has more detentions than you"
"Then all of a sudden we got introduced to punk music and it was the coolest fuckin' thing"
"Green Day is like sex, when were good, were really good, when were bad . . . were still pretty damn good."
"They always say ain't that a bitch.Thats why the call them the obitchuaries."
"Stop throwing shit or I'll jump in there and beat your ass."
"I always said that the world is a better place because of Joey Ramone"
"It's the end of the day, I've got my chinese chicken salad, Mike's a happy boy."
"Sometimes you need coffee, and sometimes you need a Bloody Mary." — Interview with Diablo Magazine - June 2011
"If my kid didn't rebel, she wouldn't be my kid"
"All my religious beliefs are based on Star Wars."
"We write music for ourselves and if other people like it, that's great."
"I'm gonna be cremated. I don't want to be stuck in any box. Maybe they'll bury me upside down and plant a seed in my ass."
"Dogs are gonna take over the world. It's a known fact for those who believe it, kinda like the Bible."
"We still have our anger and shit, but there's a greater good involved here" — Q Magazine May 2009

Tré Cool

Tré Cool
"Everyone is entitled to our opinion"
"I'm like a sack of potatoes, to be abused at will." — Interview with Hammer Magazine December 2005
"I wish people would turn off their computers, go outside, talk to people, touch people, lick people, enjoy each other's company and smell each other on the rump"
"I've never been beaten up! I'm a black belt in Run-Fu." — Interview NME June 2009
"You think your life is tough? Try being a parent"
"How about that time we all got drunk and went down on each other back when we were at college? We were experimenting with lesbianism. " — Kerrang January 2005
"You can't fuck with us now. We did it. We pulled it off."
"It's not how you pick your nose, it's were you put that booger that counts."
"We're a political band, but it's not what motivates us. Music motivates us. "
"They always give you shit when you try and read those fisting magazines on the plane." — Kerrang January 2005
"The band is like a marriage. We get onstage and fuck each other!"
"New Years Eve...we don't remember. They said we had fun." — MTV Interview for Green Day Rock Band
"I used to drink beer and smoke pot before I played. Now I drink tequila and smoke pot. So it's a little different" — Interview Drum Magazine January 2005
"The one thing about Billie is he will snap and rip your head off if you point anything out at all other than how beautiful he is and how nice he looks today."
"Condoms are for sailors."
"The radio sounds good when we're on it!"
"Another good pickup line is "hey, how long is your cock?""
"It's not about the way you pick your nose its where you place the booger that counts"
"We're Green Day. We can do whatever we want." — Interview Rhythm November 2009
"People think that we're just good-looking guys with big dicks that play hot rock & roll. But we have feelings too."
"Don't jack off a cactus, you'll only hurt your hand and the cactus' feelings"
"We pulled out the harmonica and started singing prison songs...tattooing each other." — Radio interview Live105.com Sept. 2011
"We rented out a movie theater to watch 'Team America'. But I started doing bong hits with New Found Glory and I had to leave half way through." — Interview with 'Law of Inertia' February 2005
"I can suck my own."
"It's a little embarassing, but I'm a high ranking member in the Church of Lushotology"
"I was pleasantly surprised with emotions, goosebumps, erections, everything." — An interview, when asked what his feelings towards the musical were.
"We might be a little out of our minds sometimes, but we're fucking smart."
"I have a homosexual crush on most adolescents"
"The radio sounds good when we're on it!"
"I never jizz in my own socks!" — Interview in Kerrang! Magazine
"I've matured, maybe, but not grown up." — Interview Hammer Magazine December 2005
"I think the listener can expect multiple audio orgasms and they're gonna cum out of their earholes. I'm telling you, you won't need Viagra when 'Warning' hits the stands"
"You never expect to write someone's fucking prom song. You never even got invited to your prom "
"Roll, roll, roll the joint - twist it at the ends. Light it up and take a puff and past it to a friend." — Bullet In A Bible
"Rock star outfits...commence!"
"I want to wash your grandmother. "
" I like Fisher Price music, nursery rhymes, and the alphabet song" — Interview - someone asked what kinds of music he liked
"Britney [Spears] makes it cool for hot girls to marry double-divorcé dads of two like me" — Interview Spin Magazine January 2005
"No man can eat 50 eggs!" — Bullet In a Bible
"I wanna survive an avalanch"
"Our motto is more booze and less guilt "
"I can count to four and repeat. I´m a drummer"